I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
