and next time when you feel me up, do it right
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
