i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
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