This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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