Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
