Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
