Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
