is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
