Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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