Ambien. No doubt about it.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
