I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Randomize
