Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Randomize
