I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
