And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
