who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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