They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
