You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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