Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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