This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
