OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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