I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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