You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
