So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I party with great urgency now.
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