I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
