The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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