Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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