After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
