Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
