I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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