I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
