I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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