I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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