1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize