Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
