so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize