is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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