I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
50% drunk capacity currently
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
