3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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