I can tuck mytits in my pants
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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