they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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