would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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