Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
