Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
