If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
