White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
