corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
