the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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