Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
