i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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