i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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