Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.

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(+44): View more from England

No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet

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(352): View more from Florida

if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table

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(309): View more from Illinois

You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...

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(817): View more from Texas

It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.

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(936): View more from Texas

Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.

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(941): View more from Florida

He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.

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(224): View more from Illinois

We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.

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