take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Randomize
