she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
