i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
