I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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