Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
