i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
