How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
