why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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