problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
