SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
