I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
