You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
